Where is the Passion?

Where is the passion?
I pondered this question as I was driving home tonight from epistemology class. This question arose from a program I heard on the radio as well as a conversation with KA today. She believes that I will regret it if I do not complete German to graduate with International Studies. I agree. This necessity to work on German is slowly becoming more urgent in my mind. Currently, my passion is not with German. I have more interest in the Holocaust and even more interest in philosophy. German is on the back burner of priorities. Yet, where is even the passion in these subjects? I so easily become distracted and allow myself to be interested in a variety of things that take up time. I am reminded of a conversation with CS. He challenged me to go all the way. If I am going to do something, I should juice it for all it is worth. If I am going to do something, I should do it. I should do it with passion. Passion needs to be defined. I could look it up in a dictionary, but I prefer to search within myself the meaning that I am using presently. Then I will seek the dictionary. Passion implies not doing something half-heartedly. My whole being is involved in attention, interest, attitude, ambition, discipline, and commitment. I am wiling to do all I need to do until there is nothing left to do. How does this relate to me and my life? I need to study the philosophers with the intent of understanding even if it means reading the text a few times, spending time to discuss ideas with friends or professors, and writing ideas in my own words. I need to carve out time for studying German and completing the assignments even when I am emotionally disinterested. I need to act until my emotions catch up with my actions. I need to keep my eye on the goal of completion as motivation to do the work. More importantly, what does this mean for my relationship with God? Time to do Bible study, pray, and journal is important as a foundation for my focus, ideas, and actions thorughout the day. Journalling online or in a book allows me to process thoughts or activies of the day. It allows me to connect ideas, discover thoughts inside my mind, or reflect on activities.
Where is the passion?
I am unable to answer this question fully tonight. I see a lack of passion and discipline in my life. Simply asking this question is driving me forward. I need to act as if I were passionate until the passion rises up within me. The life of meaning, purpose, and intention was meant to be lived fully. How full is my life? How will I choose to live? I pray that I will choose to live with passion.