Who Am I Becoming?

I completed a sermon series today on Kairos - Greek for right or opportune moment. Naeem, the pastor of Mosaic church, spoke of Kairos as the moment God intersects our life. The series challenged me at this present moment. There are many college classes demanding my time, the GRE in the near future, and graduate schools to consider. What are my motivations? In the past, I see my motivations greatly along the lines of success and perfectionism. How much could I do while an undergraduate? How many concentrations and honors could be recognized at graduation? After about a year of stress and anxiety, I view life more realistically. The interest of success is still creaping to the surface as I consider Yale. It is a good time to pause and prayerfully consider some questions. Who am I becoming? What am I known for? Who do I want to be? I heard an analogy about people in a bus. God needs to be the driver and I need to be a passenger. Who will I welcome into the bus? Who do I want to be with on this journey? Once I answer the question of who?, I can consider what we will be doing and where we will be going. What am I passionate about consistently? When am I at my best realistically? What can best drive my resource engine practically? Naeem made a statement in one of the sermons. He said, "You and I are the sum of the things we say yes and no to." What am I saying yes and no to? Does it require faith? Will it bring me closer to God?

These thoughts and questions come at a good time. In a week and a half, I will send my GRE scores to graduate schools. What schools will be on that list and why? I have considered going to a seminary for the Master of Divinity with Apologetics. Then I could go to a state university for my PhD in philosophy. Or maybe I will just enroll directly in a PhD. program. I may not be ready for this step and first earn my M.A. in Philosophy. I sense that I am on the edge of a new adventure. I have no idea of where I will be next year. How exciting and how frightening! Thankfully, God is in control and knows the best for me. He knows where I will be able to make a difference and bring Him glory. I sense that God's vision of the future is greater and richer than my limited vision. I am reminded that God's ways are often not man's ways. May I hear God's direction and step out in faith no matter what man may think.